Pakistan - Day 4

I remember standing at the top of the stairs and feeling dizzy. Coupled with the heat and jetlag, I knew I wasn't fully functioning. My mind would race each night while my body would slump into bed. I was already exhausted mapping out who to visit, when to visit and what to give them. I had written it all down. Hell, we even had a budget on our handy printed excel sheet, but I was more interested in executing then planning.

I would lay awake each night with the ceiling fan whirling above me. The girls would go to the other room where their female cousins romped around until the wee hours of the morning. They were told that they would sleep during the day (due to heat and loadshedding) and remain awake all night. At first, they were all quiet around each other. Our cousin's 13 year old was not happy to be in Pakistan. She wore a scowl everytime I saw her and I would just smile in return but I soon became her trusted advisor. Our commonality? Shopping. That was the only thing that brought a smile to her face.

She didn't like the country, the heat, the boys staring and whistling at her and she didn't back down. Instead, she defiantly stared at everyone despite advice not to garner any attention. My girls, on the other hand, were instructed not to speak English outdoors, return anyone's stares and look down. And they listened - so much so that I had to remind them to 'act human' outside! The least attention we drove to ourselves the better because after hearing disturbing news, I realized we were sitting ducks.

I noticed everytime I entered the room, a hush would follow. The elder relatives would suddenly stop talking and smile at me. Although I was tired, I was sure something was being concealed. The children left to go upstairs and then I saw them move in for the kill. They seated me down and the hubby's aunt turned to me to say, "Just wanted to let you know that one week before your arrival, your uncle was shot in Defense (a secure suburb in Lahore, noted for posh inhabitants and military surveillance) while working outside in his home. They do not know who shot him but he is in the hospital now. He was not doing too well in the beginning but he is expected to survive and travel with his sons to Dubai to remove the bullet from his pelvis."

My worst fear was confirmed. The so-called Pakistani street violence I had heard about in Canada was now a reality. And even worse, a family member.

That night, my hubby and his mom went to visit the injured uncle in the hospital. I walked upstairs in a zombie state and lay down in the bed. I could hear the girls giggling in the other room. Great, just when they were starting to adjust. There was no way I could tell them about this shooting. They were already scared as it was. I bit my lip and started the justification again. I am here to visit my relatives, not to sightsee or go visit irrelevant places. I have a job to do and three weeks to do it in. My mind was racing. Again, three nights and no sleep. My biological clock refused to swtich from Canadian to Pakistan time. Nine hours difference.

Squeeze me? It more like night and day difference from the life that I knew to the life I had now entered.

And it was then when it dawned on me that we were two large foreign families living under the same roof. If word got out on the street that we were from abroad, there was no telling what would or could happen. Home invasions were rampant and we already had one family flee the country to Canada due to a gunpoint robbery.

I looked out the window at the unfamiliar sky and prayed uncertainly to a certain higher power. And I am telling you, from that night, He was with me until I returned back to Canada...