After the ring ceremony, the dancing began. Everyone got up, one by one (except me, of course) and danced the night away. My girlfriends, aunts, uncles, brother and his family friends. They even got my fiancee up for a few songs. I watched from my seat on the sofa and smiled at everyone, still aware that the video camera was rolling and the cameras were clicking away.
Afterwards, the men stayed upstairs in the living room talking religion, politics, community affairs and every taboo subject there was. Only my fiancee remained downstairs with the women, seated next to me.
As the girls were searching for the next song, he turned to me and began talking.
"You look very lovely," he said. I could hear the nervousness in his voice.
"Thank you," I replied and gave him a sideways glance. Good. Now what? You got to say something more! He is still looking at you. Think of something else to say, dummy. I opened my mouth to say something and I could see he was waiting to hear what I would say.
"I...I..I like your shoes." And that was the most intellectual thing I could think of. The minute it came out, I cringed and looked down at my hands. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and wore a half smile. Who talks about shoes as a conversational opener? For pete's sake, I had to come up with another topic. I was not good when it came to small talk. Then I noticed the ring on my finger. Of course! I had to tell him about the ring.
"The ring is beautiful. Small and dainty." I looked at him and smiled. He looked frightened.
"I know its a really small diamond but it is was all I can afford at the moment. I hope its ok?" He looked down at the ring and bit his lip. I wished I could take my words back. He misunderstood my small and dainty comment. I only wanted to show him that I liked it for its simplicity, not to criticize the size. Time for damage control. I closed my eyes to concentrate on what I was about to say.
"What I mean is that I like everything about it. It's a simple design and I like that." Just then, I realized my eyes were still closed. I quickly opened them up when I felt his hand on mine. He had lifted it to observe the ring more closely. But I knew better and smiled.
"The ring is small but its got all the 4 C's, meaning its a very good diamond," he explained, still clutching my hand. I looked up and caught my aunt staring over at us. I immediately withdrew my hand. I wished right then I had magical powers --just one blink and everyone would disappear. This chaperoned business was getting on my nerves. I thought to myself that being engaged now would make a difference but I could clearly see I was still under watch.
It was now close to 1am and the party was coming to a close. I did not want him to leave and I could sense he was trying to delay his departure by having small talk with my aunt and the older ladies. Their yawns and stretches indicated they were tired and ready to pack it up. But for me, the night was still young and I wanted to know more about my new fiancee. We started talking about his job and what he was looking to do in the future. He asked about my courses at University and what my ambitions were. Everytime we would get into a lengthy conversation, we were interrupted by children, my aunt or guests who were leaving. The interruptions set us back each time and it felt like we were meeting each other for the first time and starting from square one.
The clock now showed 1:30am and they were ready to leave. He got up and bid everyone goodbye. When he reached down to pick up some envelopes that fell onto the floor, he whispered to me, "I'll call you when no one is around." And with that, they all went upstairs, leaving me behind and alone. When I knew that their family had left, I took off the embroidered shawl, removed the heavy jewellery and lay back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. Everyone had left except my aunt's family who were staying with us at the time. My sister came down and laughed.
"Now that looks like my sister. Not too lady-like," she commented as she picked up the decorations that littered the floor.
"I don't care! I need to get me out of these clothes and makeup. And will someone please bring me some food?!" I was famished. I spotted a Coke bottle in the corner, screwed off the cap, and put the whole bottle to my mouth and drank it like it was water. My sister turned around and stared at me in stunned silence. Then she picked up the camera and quickly snapped my picture.
I never included that picture in any album and years later, I burned it thinking it was very untraditional, although the few who saw it felt it was the most natural and alluring picture of me: engagement dress with no shawl, dishevelled hair, one hand on my hip and the other grasping a pop bottle, drowning its contents.
I yelled at my sister after she took the picture. "What do you think you are doing?" I demanded.
She smiled and said, "From all the years I have known you as my big sister, I have never remembered you this quiet and polite! It scares me. But right here, right now, THIS is REALLY who you are!" She grabbed the garbage bag of decorations and took it upstairs.
I stood there with the bottle in my hands and shuddered.
Yes, but will he accept me for who I am?
No comments:
Post a Comment