PhD of Ear Infections

In 1975, my father flew to Pakistan, leaving behind my mother with three children. Myself at age five, my sister who was three and my brother who was just two.

I do not remember him leaving but I remember my mother scrambling for help when I fell ill.

It all started one cold November evening as I cycled to my friend's home. We spent a cozy evening in her family room watching a movie. I was extra fidgety that night, constantly rubbing my ear. There was a ringing tone and slight discomfort but I brushed it off. Nothing was going to ruin my night. But an hour in, I started to feel the pain. Two hours later, I excused myself, jumped on my bike, and rode furiously home, with an agony in my ear that would not subside.

Three hours later, I was beside myself. My mother made me a hot water bottle, covered with a towel and pressed it against my swollen ear but I moaned in pain. It felt like someone was jabbing a knife into its core.

The next thing I remember, we were transported to our family friend's home. The mother was a pediatrician. I cried in pain and in the middle of the night, she took me to the hospital. My mother could not accompany me because she had to watch my siblings. I remember calling out her name as I sat on the cold hospital operating table. I was frightened out of my wits.

This was it. They were going to cut out my ear. No mother or father to witness the horror. Our family friend had changed into a lab coat and was holding a large syringe.

"I stole my neighbour's Barbie," I cried out, hoping that this last minute confession would absolve me from the punishment I had received from God. My father had given me multiple warnings that my late night escapades were considered a huge sin and that I would be punished somehow, someway.

I covered my ear and begged her that I could not get my PhD if I only had one ear.

She stepped back in surprise. "Who wants you to get a PhD?" she exclaimed, putting down the syringe.

"My father said that I better get a PhD or else," I sobbed, still holding my damaged ear. At this point, pus was now oozing out. My ear drum had finally erupted and I felt an eerie feeling of peace.

She placed both her hands on my shoulders and laughed. She laughed so hard that her whole body shook and vibrated into my body. Dumbfounded, I looked at her and thought she had gone crazy. Great, a nutjob was about to operate on me....

"I think you are a little too young to be worrying about your degree. Right now, we need to clean out that nasty infection in your ear. This syringe is full of water and it will flush out the pus and wax from the canal." Another doctor walked in to assist her.

"You mean my dad did not ask you to cut out my ear?" I asked.

She looked over at the other doctor who must have been smiling behind his mask.

"No, my dear. But you should return the Barbie back to your neighbour," she replied and she inserted the syringe into my ear. The surge of water was very painful. There were two sizes of syringes and each time they inserted the large one I begged them both to use the small one.

When the procedure was done, she picked me up and carried me into her office. She gave me a lollipop and then proceeded to whisper something into my healing ear.

"Did you hear me?" she asked. I smiled and nodded, sucking loudly and wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

When my father returned from Pakistan, I excitedly relayed the entire story to him as I sat on his lap and wrapped my arm around his neck. I made sure my good ear was close to him in case my 'damaged' ear grossed him out.

"So.....she did not cut off your ear? She should have cut it off. It got infected because you went out late that night." He looked at me sternly, waiting for my response.

I shifted uncomfortably in his lap but then I remembered what our family friend had whispered to me in her office after the whole incident.

"She said how could she cut off my ear if I was waiting for my father to come back and tell me how much he loves me?"

I have to say my father was rendered speechless for a good five minutes and while I sat on his lap, he inspected my ear...both of us smiling, each for our own reasons.....