Tell the truth but keep it quiet!

Mrs. Sirunas. Doesn't this name just give you the chills? Does it not make your teeth chatter make you want to escape the reality you live in? Ok, maybe you don't get affected but I didn't know she was a force to be reckoned with back then. And no matter how hard I tried to escape her web, the more tangled I became. So the story goes like this...

Mrs. Sirunas was my Grade 2 teacher. Plump with short, dark brown hair, she wore spectacles at the tip of nose and greeted all of us everyday without a smile. Me being the chatterbox that I am,  received daily warnings and dirty looks from her. The ONLY time that I recall impressing Mrs. Sirunas was during reading time. I was above grade level and probably the only child in the class borrowing books from Grade 4 for extra curricular reading.

On one afternoon, Mrs. Sirunis asked another boy and I to stay after school. I nodded slowly but dread was quickly filling up inside of me. Why did she want us to stay? What did I do? What would she do to me? It bothered me for the rest of the day, so much so, that I could not concentrate and made many mistakes during math. She would walk by and rap my knuckles with her ruler for what she deemed as deviant behaviour. Secretly, I was crapping my pants trying to figure out what was going to happen. And I was going to make sure I would not be around to find out.

When the afterschool bell had rung, I slipped out of class undetected and ran home. My usual after school routine was to loiter in the park adjacent to the school and then skip home fifteen minutes later. Instead, I walked in thefront door within five minutes of the bell ringing, much to my mother's surprise. She quietly placed my snack in front of me and watched as I nervously gulped down my ice cream and ran into my room. I sat on my bed and rocked.

"Why are you rocking," she asked walking in to fold the laundry she placed on my bed. I ignored her and continued to rock to soothe my anxiety. She eyed me suspiciously but did not demand an answer.

An hour later, she was back in my room. "Mrs. Sirunas called," she announced. I stopped rocking at once. My heart was beating fast and my palms began to sweat.

"She asked me why you left when you were specifically told to stay after school. I told her I had no idea that you left and I would make sure you stay tomorrow."

"Did she tell you why she wants me to stay," I asked with my eyes wide.

"No. And you better stay after school tomorrow so we both find out why." With that said, she left the room--alone to my disillusionment and imaginative thoughts. I was convinced I was going to get the strap.

Back in the day, the belt was administered to anyone who misbehaved. I heard of many students being called to the principal's office where he would proceed to admonish the student for anything he deemed unappropriate (swearing, skipping school, talking back to the teacher, coming in late, etc). I lay in bed all night trying to figure out what I had done. I didn't sleep because I had to separate all the bad things I had done at home from all the wrongdoings I think I did at school. It was a long night. Needless to say, I was exhausted the next day and an emotional wreck. For me, it was doomsday.

My friend Shanta and I walked to school that morning. I dragged my feet. I was not looking forward to seeing my teacher. And trust me, Mrs. Sirunas was not happy when I walked into class. She acknowledged me with a stern nod and pointed me to my seat. When I asked the boy, who was sequestered to stay afterschool the day before, why she asked both of us to stay, he only smiled and said, "You are in big trouble!" This made my teeth chatter and my knees knock.

Throughout the day, I felt her eyes bore into my back when I was working at each station. I made several mistakes that day and she did not live it down. I was so nervous that I dropped the abacus on the floor twice when doing my calculations--all of which I got wrong. As a result, she made me stay in at recess to clean the chalkboards. I watched out the window as my classmates ran up and down the field, laughing and dancing, while I slapped chalk out of the erasers and made my hair and the classroom furniture white. Yes, I was reprimanded for that too and had to clean up the mess during storytime.

By the time the bell rang, I did not know if I was coming or going. I sat on the bench outside the classroom and wished I were dead. Yes, quite a sadistic thought. Yet a good escape. If I was found dead, my parents would blame Mrs Sirunas, she would be jailed for my murder and then no one would let her speak about why I was held afterschool. She would go crazy in jail and when she spoke the truth, no one would believe her. People would still be mourning for me. My imagination was rudely interrupted by the devil incarnate herself. Mrs. Sirunis stood outside the classroom door observing me while my evil thoughts ran wild.

"Come in," she motioned with her hand pointing back in the classroom. I got up uneasily and kept my head down. My shoelaces were untied but I was more concerned about where the principal was going to strap me. She made me stand in front of her desk. I waited while she cleared her papers and moved items to the corners of the desk. Great, I thought. They are going to strap me here, on her desk. She called my name. I dared not to look up. When she called me again, I looked up slowly to see her squinting her eyes at me.

"Do you know why I called you here today?"

"No."

"Why did you go home yesterday when I asked you to stay?"

"I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

I hesitated before answering. I heard my mother's voice in the back of my mind. Always tell the truth. Then I heard my father's voice....Keep quiet, you talk too much!

"Because....I am afraid of you." I cringed and looked down. Nothing. I closed my eyes, waiting in anticipation. Would it be a ruler or a strap? Nothing. When I looked up again, Mrs. Sirunas was not smiling, as usual. However, she was holding up a certificate with my name on it. I looked at it blankly, too scared to read.

"I wanted you to stay afterschool so I could show you this. You have won the best reading award in all of Grade 2. And I wanted to present it to you first before tomorrow's assembly in front of the whole school." She asked me to read the certificate back to her. I shyly read it out loud and then looked at her again. Still no smile.

"Promise me the next time I ask something of you, that you will listen instead of flying out of the school?" I nodded. She excused me and then I was free to leave. I walked slowly to the door, so not to 'fly' out of the room when she stopped me with another comment.

"Thanks for telling the truth. But I am really not that scary once you get to know me," Mrs. Sirunas said. And then she attempted a smile. I remember it more like a smirk.

I smiled back widely, encourage by her candour and responded, "Its ok, but I DON'T want to get to know you"

Mrs. Sirunas' mouth fell open and her eyes narrowed at me. What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY?

I was honoured at the assembly the next day but got detention for one week cleaning chalkboards afterschool. And I learned to combine my parents advice the hard way--Tell the truth but keep it quiet....