I write this next post with trepidation. I'm about to embark on the story of how I met my husband, much to his dismay. But there is a point I want to make here and its about "kismet".
Squeeze me?
I am a firm believer of fate and I can honestly say that I was fated to meet him and it took many twists and turns towards the end result --an arranged marriage.
SQUEEZE ME?
Yes. Whenever you mention the two words, arranged marriage, side by side, the Western world recoils at the notion. Let me clarify this idea as I get jaw-dropping, eyeball popping reactions when I tell people about my own marriage. For most that know me well, they would not fathom me agreeing to it in the first place.
According to Wikipedia, arranged marriage is: a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple getting wedded, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world, including Europe. Today, arranged marriage is largely practiced in South Asia, and the Middle East and East Asia. The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.
Let's look at my own checklist:
*match was selected by parents
*match was referred to by a third party
*match avoided courtship
*match was arranged by family friends and conducted by a religious priest
*match was predestined (I added that one because I saw the sign even before everything was mapped out)
The one thing I must point out - in Islam, if you do not consent to the marriage, the woman has the right to refuse the proposal. If you hear anything different (forced marriage, childhood engagements, really old men marrying teenage girls), this is culturally imposed. It has nothing to do with religion.
Rewind 20 years ago when I was eighteen --I was adamant against arranged marriages. Who were they kidding? I was going to meet my own mate and make that decision myself. But my trajectory in life was not heading in that direction. When my mother passed away that year, everything spun out of control. I lost my bearings and had could not grasp onto the unfolding events. That is why its "kismet" -- a fated force that pulled me towards my husband, no matter how hard I tried to avoid the inevitable.
And if I were asked if I could go back in the past and have the control to change those events, I would not. Ask my non-Muslim friends who attended my wedding, begging my father to find them a husband like mine ;)
Stay tuned for Part 3, "Father Proposal"...
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