As with any man in this position, without a wife or a mother for his daughter, my father was not equipped to handle the scene before him. I lay on my hospital bed, weeping uncontrollably, praying that what I had heard was in part, due to the drugs that put me out for my surgery.
My father sat on the side of the bed and put his arms around me. He stroked my hair which was now matted with tears and sweat. I was a mess--physically and emotionally and unsure where to turn.
"The nurse told me about the surgery," he said. He purposely announced this so I would not go into detail about ovarian cyst. It was embaressing enough to know that he knew. Ironically the nurse walked in at that particular moment.
"Who was that Doctor that came in to see me," I asked her.
"Oh, he is the staff gyneocologist, Dr. So and So," she smiled as she checked my IV. When she left I turned to my father.
"That man told me I could not have kids," I blurted out, tears welling up again in my eyes. My father froze and looked at me confused.
"Are you sure that is what he said? You sure you didn't dream it? You look pretty groggy to me." I turned my head towards the window. Married in four weeks. All I could think of was how I was going to break this to my husband-to-be.
The nurse came back with Tylenol 3. I told her what the doctor had said. She shook her head and told me not to worry--that it was his job to give me the worst-case scenario.
But it bothered me. Where was his edicate? Was it right to hit someone with a diagnosis just after surgery while they were still coming to? Was it right to reveal information without my general doctor being present? I felt some violation had occured or was it just me trying to recover from the shock of it all?
"Your fiancee and inlaws are coming tomorrow to visit. They will ask about your surgery--only say your appendix was removed. No need to go into detail," my father advised and then announced he had to leave to tend to my brother and sister.
When he left, I pondered over what he said. I wouldn't be lying if I said my appendix was removed but I wasn't telling the whole truth either. If it was embaressing to tell my father about my delinquent ovarian cyst, it would be next to impossible to tell it to my fiance, who I couldn't even hold an entire conversation with! His mother would overhear and then freak out about the possibility of no grandchildren. His father would stamp his foot and declare the marriage off and then he would ask for the ring back and leave with the whole family. I would be left, alone, in the hospital with the evil gynecologist lurking in the hallway, waiting for me to sleep to take out the rest of my reproductive system.
Ok, so my imagination went wild. Tylenol 3 never suited me. And when I slept that night, I was not sure whether the drugs brought my mother to me or my call for help...
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