As they filed in, I shrunk under the covers. My fiancee, his brother and both parents came shyly into the room and met with my sister, brother and father. My brother ducktailed out with his brother as per my instructions. My father walked out with my fatherinlaw into the hall near the nurse's station. Only my fiancee and his motherinlaw were left. She came over and picked up my hand.
"You poor thing. What timing. I hope you will be ok in time for the wedding?" she asked.
I nodded meekly, not returning her gaze. My fiancee pulled up a chair next to my bed and shooed his mother away with his eyes. She looked dismayed but left obediently.
"Wow, if you wanted some attention, you sure got it," he joked.
I gave him a half-smile and looked back at the television. He clearly looked uncomfortable and I could see he was forming his words carefully.
"So you should be ready to go by end of August right?" he asked.
"Go where?" Where did he want me to go?
"On our honeymoon. Remember? We decided Europe and I was thinking of Spain but I need to book the trip now."
He was thinking more about the honeymoon than the wedding, I thought. Of course, he wanted to know if I could travel.
"I have to check with my doctor but I think I should be ok," I reassured him. "Go ahead and book the trip."
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You will be ok to travel and do other things, right?"
My God. Now I understood what he meant. I grabbed the railing of my bed and accidently pushed the button for the bed to elevate my legs. My timing could not be any better. His impatient mother heard the noise and came back in, wanting to be a part of our conversation. My fiancee sat upright and looked embarressed. I wanted to hug her right there and then.
"Ok, we should leave. You need your rest, " she smiled and put her hand on my head.
I tried to speak but I did not know where to begin. I felt depressed with regret.
Everyone came back in the room to bid me farewell. My tongue followed my brain. Dead and exhausted from the last few weeks. I wanted to tell him but not in front of everyone. It was too late. I should have told him when we were alone but something held me back.
They left that night and my father looked in on me before departing. He stood by the doorway as the nurse turned off the lights and asked all visitors to leave. I pretended to be asleep but with one eye slightly open, I watched him from afar.
He lifted one hand to his face and wiped away what seemed to be a tear... and then he turned away into the darkness.
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