I was astounded at the date of my last post. August 7th. It has been over a month and a half and I was experiencing a dry spell--a complete and utter case of writer's block. It happens to the best of us, but quite honestly, never to me.
I have been writing most of my life. It started in Grade Five. I started writing in my diary. Recording my thoughts, ideas and perceptions of life. Then I graduated to writing short stories and poems. Writing has always been my outlet. When I was mad, I wrote angry letters to the people who caused my anger. When I was sad, I wrote. When I was brimming with happiness, I wrote. And from that day on, I really have not stopped. In some shape or form, I needed to 'put things down on paper'. So when I was rounding to my conclusion of "The Romantic Elliptical" saga, I lost track of where I was going with this; unsure how I would end it. With the hurdles of life and juggling work, family and my own needs, I got lost in an abyss and it took everything I had in me to get out and finish it.
There is always a time for firsts.
So after 70 blog posts or chapters (as some readers have recognized these insights to be) we come full circle. Or perhaps I get off the elliptical now. Its been a long, arduous ride, with ups and downs, increased heart rates, taking it slow and riding it out until reaching that consistent, regulated heartbeat. The heartbeat that started with absolutely no romance or courtship.
Squeeze me?
"An elliptical trainer or cross-trainer is a stationary exercise machine used to simulate stair climbing, walking, or running without causing excessive pressure to the joints, hence decreasing the risk of impact injuries. For this reason, people with some injuries are able to use an elliptical to stay fit, as the low impact affects them little."
Maybe I got the short end of the stick by means of an arranged marriage. Low impact romance. No fireworks, no chasing, no pursuit, no wooing.
Perhaps you get on the elliptical and like any marriage, you have to work hard at it. Keep the machine oiled, send it for maintenance but keep on it for your own health.
Let me tell you, there was many times I wanted to get off and chuck it to the curb!! But like any marriage, it entails hard to work to keep going. I married a pragmatic, practical man who deep down knew what made me tick all these years. Sure I got strange stares when I would tell people I got an elliptical on my anniversary or running shoes for my birthday instead of a romantic getaway for two to Paris or a diamond anniversary band.
And inevitably, I would gush, oooh and awe about stories of their romantic proposals, awesome getaways and specially planned surprises evoking the most emotional responses from friends, family and what the media churned out in most chick flicks. Thinking I was missing out on something. I read about it, heard about it and watched it over the years but as I learned more about my husband, I realized I was learning equally about myself.
I did not have an earth-shattering epiphany that awoke me in the middle of the night. My thoughts about having an unconventional marriage embarressed me at first. But trying to fit the status quo in the society instead gave me more grief. And it was a slow learning process as I evolved over the years to understand that it wasn't them--it was me. Even though romance surrounded me in many forms, when encountering it at any point, it was surreal to me and I didn't know how to react to it.
And slowly, I came to the ultimate realization...that I am not a romantic. It infiltrated my life in many ways but not enough to make me think I missed out on it. Romanticism for us was a thing that was artificially produced and awkward. Sad for some but true -- and no matter how much we tried, it came out too fabricated and cheesy. Our love is practical and by no means any less in value just because the romance factor is missing.
Love comes in differents forms, shapes and sizes. One size does not fit all. And surely, we made our own elliptical mould.
You could know each other for ten minutes or live together for ten years or enter an arranged marriage like I did. No matter how you look at it, it is a risk you take. Across the board, in any culture, religion or mindset you possess. And in the end, it is what you make of it or don't.
The romantic elliptical is an lollapalooza. You either have it or you don't. Of course, an elliptical is not romantic. But I do love my elliptical because it does what it is supposed to do. But romance is subjective for me. I may hear that a couple has a romantic date night each week--but do they communicate? Someone may say that they went for a romantic vacation but are their interests so different that they did not see the sites together? There is always something they are not telling you.
And for the those who solemnly swear they have it all, with romance intact, I salute you and bid you both the very best. No sarcasm here or ill intent. Really, I admire the life long love affairs. But don't tell me its not hard work or there are no bumps, falls or hiccups along the way. Coz then, you are a walking chick flick.
I leave you with this quote. And here comes the subjectivity. To some, it is very romantic and to others, a lesson in practicality. I remember reading it in my first year of high school and it has stuck with me all these years because I have always been a communicator, to a fault--be it verbal or in written word. For better or for worse.
Even on that damned elliptical, you cannot shut me up ;)
Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart. -- Charles Dickens
