A different type of flu

I could tell a thousand stories about my father. He is extremely comedic, even when he is trying not to be.

He came over the other night and we got into the discussion of the influenza epidemic currently affecting our society.

My daughter was the first to pick it up. The budding veternarian keeps her ears open when it comes to the flu virus as she is more concerned about the animal population than her human neighbours.

My father kept saying, "this HINI flu is very different from the usual flu virus". What I didn't catch was that he was replacing the "1" with an "I".

The next day, in a fit of laughter, my daughter said, "Grandpa said we may get infected "Hini" flu....does that mean the shot will go into our butt?"

In these days, with the media instilling fear about H1N1, we need a little humour to deal with the indecision of getting the BUTT SHOT........

Tornado Watch

It's been happening to me since I was five. A recurring dream of being caught in a tornado. I am very scared but also excited that a category five tornado is on its way.

Squeeze me?

I know, it sounds sadistic, but I am never harmed because instinct tells me to find a corner in the basement to hide...in my dream!

I wake up before the tornado hits--every time. I have tried to find out what the meaning of these dreams are...although I suspect it relates to my curiosity with natural calamities (hurricanes, lightning storms, earthquakes). When I hear about it on the news, I listen to every single detail.

Or perhaps it's a metaphor--my brain, the tornado. A different category everyday, I suppose. Some have suggested its repressed sexual instincts. Yeah sure, I can imagine me saying, "I had me a tornado of a session last night!"

A tornado can be interpreted in so many ways, but for now, I will take it at face value...my next job will be a storm chaser ;)

Big Bang Laughter

Is anyone watching the tv series Big Bang Theory? I was a bit hesitant to watch the Season 1 DVD a co-worker loaned me. And when he told me the premise of the show was two physicists living together, one being infatuated with the blond next door, I didn't know what to expect.

After watching the first episode, I was beside myself with laughter. Real heart-felt laughter. The creators of the show are Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. They are absolutely awesome at their craft.

Long story short: I am tired with the sex, violence and reality shows that have besieged us in the last few years. I liked the premise of the show Dexter, but even the serial killing got me thinking...how many ways can one kill and dispose a body?

Squeeze me?

In this world of ills, laughter is still the best medecine!

Flu Shots--The New Bullet

A friend of mine sent me a disturbing video about the rare affects of inoculations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScGC7nFDxM&feature=topvideos

I am not THAT old but I remember a time of never having so many shots. Heck, and I know this will gross you out, but I took chewing gum from the sidewalk one day, washed it and put it in my mouth. Yes, I was socially inept at the age of five. My actual point being was that we never had anti-bacterial soap, wipes, sprays or cleansers. And believe it or not, we were HEALTHY.

We also did not have peanut, gluten, severe dust and seasonal allergies at record numbers.

So what has changed?

LIFE. To be the most advanced civilizations, we have prospered in technology. But sadly, at the same time, we have suffered in health.

Squeeze me?

Pass me the reddest, juiciest, bruise-free apple, please......

The Crackberry Addiction

I read an article today about how the Blackberry is making everyone work longer hours.

It's a false sense of freedom because it gives us the freedom to do more work.

Squeeze me?

The boundaries of a 9 to 5 day no longer exists--if we can get information 24/7 at our finger tips and it allows us to get things done at that moment in time, it's a productivity tool, right?

But can it become counter-productive? I know people who refuse to have a Blackberry for that very reason. You blur the lines between work and home.

So it comes to this:

The ones who have a Blackberry feel empowered.
The ones who don't have a Blackberry feel empowered.

Squeeze me?

What is your addiction of the day?
Please order me the Blackberry Storm and a Mac--I love that guy in the commercial!

Patience is STILL a Virtue

In the words of the wise Mahatma Gandhi:

"To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves."

Patience is a Virtue

You know, I look around and everyone is rushing through life.

People are walking faster, talking faster, calculating faster, producing faster...I feel like everything is a race against time.

There is a blurring of lines - there is no black or white. Grey zones pop up and exist everywhere now. We are just going through the motions.

Life is simple but we make it messy. We need to slow down. Even the kids today are rushing to get the newest technology. Who has the latest gadget.

Squeeze me?

I was running to a meeting one day. My co-worker stopped me and asked why am I running? Is the room going to change? Are the people we are meeting going to leave? Will the meeting get cancelled if we are two minutes late? Slow down, pace yourself and accept everything as is. We believe one minute will change the world as we know it. So what?

If change happens, relax ....things happen for a short time. We are in a state of flux. We try to control but we can't. Don't try...let the cards fall where they may.

Get back to the basics. Write a letter, don't text. Pick up the phone and call a friend, don't Twitter. Am I anti-technology? No. I am going back to the basics. Simplicity. No complication, no strings, no hidden agenda. Its the naked truth.

You know the saying, "Slow down and smell the roses"...I say "Slow down and plant the roses".

Sit back patiently....and watch your creation grow.

Ruled by the media...who isn't these days?

What has happened to all the women who love their curves? They state that they will not be swayed by the media or what other people think of them.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt was photographed on holiday in her bathing suit. All the tabloids dismissed her curvy figure for being just plain fat! She rebuked these comments by saying that she was proud of her figure. Three months later, she drops from a size 12 to an 8.

Tyra Banks was photographed on holiday in her bathing suit. She is accused of packing on the pounds with total disregard to her model figure. She comes on her tv talk show to adamantly state that she is happy with her body and no one has the right to make comments and that young girls today are being brainwashed by the media to be unhealthy and thin. Five months later she drops from a size 14 to a size 6.

Squeeze me?

I'm all about "Say what you mean" and "Mean what you say".....at the end, we are all ruled by the media......

Just Bump off!

One of my relatives has three children--eight, five and two. She has lost most of the baby weight but her body type is such that whatever weight leftover is around the middle.

Many places she goes, she is asked, "Are you pregnant?" Woman or man, there is no hesitation to ask.

Squeeze me?

Are people ignorant? Is it politically correct to ask a woman if she is with child? My relative is tired of fending off this question. I think the ONLY time you ask this question is when there is medical procedure about to take place.

She revealed her secret to me one day. Now she replies, "No, I am just FAT!"...followed by uncomfortable silence.

These losers should have a taste of their own medecine...

Boy in the Balloon Puking on CNN

All inquiring minds want to know.....why the poor boy was sick on the show..

Look at the body language of the parents while they are answering questions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI6UONWCq7A&feature=player_embedded

This is just as bad as the Jon and Kate exploitation of their kids.....then why is Miley Cyrus any different?

Boy in Balloon

Squeeze Me?

Boy in a balloon, travelling 50 miles in the air, 7000 feet from the ground. What the heck? My co-worker came hurtling to my desk today and frantically asked me to log onto CNN.com ....to see the video of the balloon travelling across Northeast Colorado. In the middle of a large website design, I rolled my eyes and logged on to witness this crazy flight and an even the crazier notion that a small six year old boy was in the compartment of this balloon.

The rest of the afternoon was a play by play communication with five people near my cubicle. Balloon lands, balloon empty, boy must have fallen off, is boy alive or dead, where did the boy land? All this commotion and I have a website to edit!

Needless to say, the whole episode was intriguing. Many in the office were clucking their tongues, shaking their heads and feeling sympathy for the poor family of the this missing child. I got to admit, I was wondering how it was going to end. Images of a small boy lying disjointed somewhere on the landscape got me a bit teary-eyed.

As I was coming out of a meeting, that same co-worker runs into the department to announce that the six year old boy had been yelled at for playing in the compartment of the balloon and hid in a cardboard box in the attic of their garage--THE WHOLE TIME. Yes, a sigh of relief....then wondering how it came to be that his sibling swore he saw him in the compartment just before it took off.

He is safe and sound. The family is relieved. The UFO adventure is over. It's a good ending.

But it would make for good TV had he been in the balloon and survived the flight!

Inquiring minds always want to know.............

The "Hi" Experiment

Today I decided, when I go out, I am going to smile and say "Hi" to everyone I see. I wanted to see the reactions and as a result come to a conclusion to this experiment. Thinking back, we were taught from a young age that greeting people was an acceptable social norm. When I walk around today, I am so absorbed with my own issues and thoughts that I realized I am neglecting the people I live and share oxygen with. I knew I was out of practice. As I got in my car, my sudden need to connect with my community became the 'driving' force.

I left the house to get my hair cut and had to stop by the local Shoppers Drug Mart to pick some toiletries. I walked in and immediately smiled and said "Hi" to the cosmetician. Trained in customer service, she replied in the same manner. I walked down the shampoo aisle and saw a girl, around the age of 17, looking at conditioners. I came up beside her, viewed the conditioner bottles, picked out one and turned to her. "Hi", I said. She looked up, hesitated and said "Hi" back in a very slow manner. I kept smiling and picked up my shampoo. I could see her eyeing me in a sidelong glance.

I proceeded to the candy rack and there was a gentleman looking at books nearby. I picked up my favourite candy bar, smiled and said "Hi". He looked behind him, thinking I was talking to someone else and realized I was addressing him. He raised one eyebrow and replied "Hi". And then he drew a slow smile...MEN.....that is all they can think about! Nevertheless, I kept smiling, walked over to the cashier and said "Hi"! She smiled back and returned the salutation. The gentleman was looking over the magazine rack with a perplexed look on his face trying hard to recognize me. I walked out of the store, determined to continue smiling and said "Hi" to the next person that walked by, an older Asian man, who took one look at me, spit on the sidewalk and proceeded to walk past. My smile started to fade but I kept walking, turned the corner and then went to cut my hair.

As I sat in the salon, I pondered my "Hi" experiment. My objective you ask? Is it more natural for some to smile and reply back or rather an obtrusive imposition on others to return the favour? In my experiment, all but one person replied back. But the issue was more in the way they greeted me. On my walks in the neighborhood, everyone I pass says "Hi" with a smile and a cheery disposition. Does the environment make a difference? Are people more entailed to greet others outside more than inside? Do interior quarters cause claustrophobic conditions in that when greeted, many are caught off guard? Is age a factor? Do old people become more friendly because they know their years on Earth are numbered? What the hell was the deciding factor?

As my hair fell to the ground in the salon, I tried to make heads or tails of my experiment. Perhaps I needed more participants, maybe I should have created an hypothesis before embarking on my experiment. Or there were too many uncontrolled variables....

When I left the salon, walking to my car, a woman parked next to me and opened her door. As I unlocked my door and looked up at her, she smiled and said "Hi". I was surprised at first, thinking I knew her, but realized this was her experiment. A warm smile spread across my face as I replied back.

Squeeze me?
Its not an experiment.
Its brotherly love.
Its humanity.

Smile and make someone's day.

The Letterman/Polanski Conundrum

I have been listening and watching the whole Letterman scandal. Not by choice--its either fed intravenously by radio or sent to me by email in YouTube excerpts. The first airing of guilt by Letterman actually made me laugh--laugh at how he effectively dismissed his adultery through the use of humour. What a showman! What a great comedian! Thunderous applause!

The second airing of his show depicts a more solemn man confirming how his behaviour has 'horribly hurt' his wife. Now its getting deep and dirty. His admission of conducting creepy things is getting creepy. Still, he receives applaud and support from his delusional audience.

I think this audience are the handpicked supporters of fated Roman Polanski. They too placed this glorious Hollywood producer in the "I am famous, you can't touch me" pedestal. Well, a lesson to all. The old proverb "What goes around, comes around" is something that comes to mind. Whether you are a famous comedian or a reknowned producer, rape is rape and adultery is just plain old cheatin'.

Polanski is depressed in jail.
Letterman is depressed about public scrutiny.
I'm depressed because I can't remember what I ate for breakfast this morning and my panties just went up a size.

Squeeze me? I will take the fall for that anyday.....

2012

So I hear Hollywood is coming out with the movie, 2012. Squeeze me? Another movie about the end of the world? I can't wait to see another movie that depicts Armageddon! (Note: subtle sarcasm here)


It seems to be an addiction --the need to enthrall us in the idea of doomsday. We have gone to these movies, enjoyed the special effects and immersed ourselves in the acting skills of our beloved celebrities. They certainly do a good job convincing us that the world is coming to an end. But ask yourself, is this something you watch and then forget about the next morning? Is this pure entertainment?


Just reflect and perhaps you did for a second on Dec 31, 1999 at 11:58...are we being sent a message? We are slowing destroying Mother Earth. We are still fighting wars. Entire species are disappearing.

But on a humanitarian front, the message could be very simple.

What if today was your last day?
What if tonight you took your last breath?
What are you doing now to make a difference?

......she asks as she listens to Prince's song, 1999......