"So it is a go?"
"Yep. We will be officially engaged in April."
"And you still have to have a proper conversation with him?"
"Yes. Its kind of hard when his father is breathing on the other line and MY father is sitting in earshot, pretending to read the newspaper."
"What? Listen, you really need to go out alone with him and have some time to get to know each other."
"And how am I supposed to do that? He asked me to meet up--told me his parents have no problem with the idea. But my Dad is a real stickler. He doesn't want me to see him. He thinks if we break off the engagement for whatever reason, I will end up with a reputation."
"That is dumbest thing I have ever heard! Why would you have a reputation? Do you plan on sleeping with him on the first date?"
"Yes, of course.... NOT! My dad thinks if we are alone together, the community will jump to the conclusion that there was some hanky panky and then I will be blamed for it."
"Your culture is so weird. That is pretty backwards thinking. What if you don't do anything and he makes the moves on you? You will still get blamed? That is so unfair. You are only trying to get to know each other. There must be another way?"
"Well, my father says he is trying to protect my honour. When two people are alone, there is not a third person as a witness."
"A witness? Sounds more like a court trial than a date! What about if you go out in a group setting?"
"Well my fiancee suggested we go out with his brother and my brother and sister. We could come over as a family and then take off for dinner."
"So what did your Dad say?"
"I have yet to ask him. I think that is reasonable, don't you think?"
"Listen, if you need a witness, I will come!"
"Thanks, but I don't need to implicate you either. Let's stick with one girl having a bad rep, Ms Sleep with him on the first date!" I joked with my best friend. Out of all of my friends, she had to be the wildest, most spontaneous one.
Enter Supreme Ruler of the household
"OVER MY DEAD BODY! I don't care if your brother and sister are there! They are younger than you and don't know any better. Even if there are a hundred people sitting between you, you will still come out of this tainted."
My father had that look on his face that prevented me from arguing my point. This was getting ridiculous! How on earth was I going to get to know him?
I couldn't go out with him alone nor with a chaperone. My father was taking this arranged marriage thing to a whole new level.
"Just get to know him over the phone. Didn't you do that with the last one?" he proclaimed and walked away in a huff.
DANG IT. I certainly had that coming.
While my new engagement was being orchestrated, I often wondered how this was going to resonate once it became official? There was no way I could hide my engagement from our immediate community. And when the news broke, it would spread like wildfire. I knew something heavy would hit the fan once my ex-fiancee's family found out. But that was off in the distance and I blocked it from my mind.
"I'm sorry but he will not allow a group setting," I told him over the phone.
"Mom! Get off the phone!" my husband yelled. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. It felt like we were in grade school.
"You know, I would like to get to know you better," he sighed.
There was a long pause before I answered.
"Yeah, same here. But it won't happen the way we want it to."
I wanted to tell him about all the signs. How I knew he was the one. What I had gone through in the last year to be finally led to him. But everytime I opened my mouth, nothing came out. I did not know where to start. I sensed that he too wanted to talk and open up about himself but the setting was not right. The phone calls were foreign and uninviting--ironically the opposite experience I had with my ex-fiancee. However, it was a good thing. It only reiterated the feeling I possessed--that I needed to get to know him in person.
And I would find a way to do this, with or without Daddy's approval.
No comments:
Post a Comment