Rewind. And let me test your memory...
It started out as a trip to Toronto in August 1990, with my father to a cultural event symbolizing Independance Day for Pakistan at the Ontario Science Center. I wasn't interested in going but since the passing of my mother the year before, my father was lonely and wanted my company. I could not turn him down. Friends of mine had called earlier in the day to let me know they would be there too. In the main hall, he stood there with a crowd of his friends, in his tweed jacket and khaki pants. Even though there were other proposals coming, I dismissed them all and told my father to let me continue my studies at University. But my sixth sense made me twitch as I watched him that evening.
This happened in the summer of 1990. After my father grilled him about our past, present and future, the chess game began. What was my next move? After the talk, my father sat me down and asked me point blank if this was what I wanted.
Have you connected the dots?
Without my father or I having any authority towards the outcome of events, I was propelled into a vortex, beyond my control. And as these events were occuring, and much to my disdain, my father continued to entertain other proposals, without my knowledge...while I was engaged.
He would disappear at hours on end, and then come back disappointed--without explanation. I would learn of this the following year but by that time, my fate was sealed. My father attempted to derail my plans. It was not obvious to me at the time but I was being warned. I was feuding with my inner voice, ignoring my dreams, and turning away from the signs.
In short, I refused to accept reality. Bad move. I was pretending to know how to play the game. Neither myself or my father knew how but we were both testing out our own strategies without knowing the results. Only He knew. Only He was watching. And only His hand was in all of this. He was the board, and we were his players.
Confused? So was I! During the summer, as I was planning out my engagement, I went with my father to his cultural event. He had been feeling low and speaking a lot about my mother. Her 1st year death anniversary had just passed and I knew he felt lonely. As always, he asked me to go with him, rather insisted I go. I too, feeling alienated and sad, agreed to accompany him. I went that fated evening, not with any intent but only to get out of the house, back into society and enjoy an evening with my friends. Although I left with my father, he joined his friends while I found mine. Now I know what you are all thinking. It could have been a set up. Trust me when I say I know today that it was not. It was a fated night and I could only trust my instincts.
The very next day became the pivotal moment in my life. What turned out as an innocent shopping trip, turned into a disastrous revelation and the beginning of the end...
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