The Art of Listening

“If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut.” Albert Einstein

When I was younger, my reports cards dating back to kindergarten commented on my chatting "skills". Teachers remembered fondly my ability to capture the attention of an entire classroom while simultaneously and effectively making mention that this was during class hours when the teacher should be teaching. Ooops.

In high school, friends enjoyed hour-long lunch discussions with me despite being unable to get a word in edge-wise. Ooops.

As an adult, my "50 words per minute" were exasperating to most and the "foot in the mouth" syndrome was appalling and embarressing at the same time. Ooops.

Along with my metabolism, my talking speed started to slow down (especially when I encountered bulging eyeballs) and yes, I finally came to the conclusion, something that I was acutely aware of but ignored throughout my childhood: I have a listening disorder.

Squeeze me?

Am I practicing what I preach? Night after night, when complaining to my girls that they do not listen to their teachers, their parents, their grandparents, the news channel or any relevant information for their benefit, I realized I was that pot calling the kettle black. And without revealing it to them, I sheepishly noted my listening disorder had been passed from one generation to another!

Listening is not just about not talking. I realized there was another language out there--an unspoken language: body language, gestures and looks that I was just too busy to interpret while blabbing incessantly to get my point across.

If you meet me today, don't take my silence and equate it with rudeness, lack of understanding or an unwillingness to contribute to the conversation.

I will not talk over you. I will listen to your words and process them before speaking or not speak at all. I will be watching, assessing and taking it all in with stride. I will no longer take advantage of you. And for this, I hope you will respect me in the morning...